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Disney Announces “The Lion Queen”, A Sequel to “The Lion King”
Disney is looking to dominate the Box Office with “The Lion Queen”, a feminist sequel to The Lion King. However, not everyone is a fan of this new movie.
Disney Adding Urinals to All Women’s Restrooms
Soon, all women’s restrooms at Disney World will have urinals. This is an effort to create a safer and more inclusive environment, but has some people outraged
Man Shot for Cutting in Line Inside Disney World
Only weeks after Disney World began allowing the open carry of guns in their parks, a man was shot by another guest for cutting in line. People are revolting.
BREAKING: Human Robots Are Taking Over Disney World
Human robots are taking over Disney World. These realistic robots can’t be distinguished from humans and are intended to make the wait times longer
Disney World Bans Stanley Cups Inside The Parks
Guns are allowed inside Disney World, but Stanley Cups aren’t. The announcement that Disney bans Stanley Cups has shaken the world
BREAKING: Disney Building Roller Coaster That Jumps Track
After filing for the patent earlier in the year, Disney is building a roller coaster that jumps the track. This will be the most dangerous roller coaster ever
Pixar Announces Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone
Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone will be remade by Pixar. This comes after another huge Disney acquisition and has many people excited
Ron DeSantis Now Running For President of Disney
Just days after Ron Desantis drops out of the presidential election, he announces he is running to become the president of The Walt Disney Company.
Self-Driving Strollers Coming to Disney World
For only $500 per day, guests can rent self-driving strollers at Disney World. These strollers will reduce injuries and make parent’s lives easier
Disney World Adding Slot Machines to Ride Lines
You can now gamble away in Disney World lines. Disney is adding slot machines to their theme parks in the lines for their world-class rides
Ron DeSantis Sending Migrants to Disney World
Ron DeSantis is sending migrants to Disney World. He is doing this to show how much of a problem the immigrant crisis is and making Disney deal with it
Disney Removes The Seat Belts on The Tower of Terror
The Tower of Terror just got way more terrifying now that Disney has officially removed the seat belts from the ride. This is to make it more authentic
Disney World Free For Black People In Black History Month
In a controversial announcement, black people can get into Disney World for free during Black History Month as an effort to provide reparations
Disney Announces “Proud”, A Fat Pride Princess Movie
Disney will soon have an obese princesss. Lizzo is set to avoice Felicia in “Proud”, a new Disney movie to celebrate fat pride
Disney World Now Allows Open Carry of Guns in Their Parks
Guests can now open carry guns inside Disney World. This new Disney World gun policy is meant to make the parks safer, but many are skeptical
Animal Kingdom Ranked as The Worst Theme Park in America
In an unsurprising twist, Animal Kingdom has been named the worst theme park in America. This is leading to speculation that Disney will close the park.
BREAKING: Violet Has an Abortion in The Incredibles III
The Incredibles III will deal with teen pregnancy and abortion. This will make it one of the most controversial Disney and Pixar movies ever made
Most Unhinged Disney/Pixar Films Coming Out in 2024
In 2024, Disney and Pixar are taking a bold approach to new films. Many of these will be their most controversial ever, like Chemo and Abducted for example.
Women Can Now Give Birth Inside Disney World
The Magic Kingdom Maternity Ward is now open for women to give birth inside Disney World. For only $5,000 you can give birth in the Magic Kingodm.
BREAKING: Disney World and Disneyland Secede From The US
In breaking news, Disney World and Disneyland have officially seceded from the United States. Both of the theme parks are now their own countries