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BREAKING: EPCOT is Now An Adult-Only Park
Breaking news, EPCOT is now an adult-only park. This means that now guests must be 18 years or older in order to enter EPCOT.
Disney World Now Charging Based on Political Affiliation
Now, the cost for Disney World tickets, hotels, food, drinks, and more varies based on what political party you are registered with.
Disney World Will Start Weighing People at Entrance
Disney World will start weighing people at the entrance. According to your weight, you will be put in a weight class and given a colored bracelet.
BREAKING: Woody and Buzz Will Get Married in Toy Story 5
Breaking news, Woody and Buzz will get married in Toy Story 5. An internal source has confirmed to us that Woody and Buzz are gay.
Beast Games Season 2 Will Take Place Inside Disney World
Mr. Beast will give away $10 million in Beast Games season 2, except this season will take place inside Disney World and will air on Disney+
Disney World Bans Pooping Inside Their Lines
Due to the massive increase in people taking dumps in Disney lines, Disney has banned pooping in their lines, which may lead to a ban.
Disney World Going Woke With Language in Parks
Disney is using new woke terminology, the main change is using “expectant birthing people” instead of “expectant mothers”.
BREAKING: Splash Mountain Returning to Disney World
Breaking news, Splash Mountain will return to Disney World and Tiana’s Bayou Adventure will be closing permanently to make way for this retheme.
Disney World Adds Hospice Care to Their Parks
Mickey Mouse Hospice House is the new hospice care inside Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. This is where you can go to peacefully die.
Mission: OceanGate Ride Coming to Disney World
Mission: OceanGate will replace Mission: SPACE at EPCOT. It puts you in the seat of the OceanGate submarine as you pilot it around the ocean.
Disney World Adds Love Nests to The Magic Kingdom
Couples can now make love inside Disney World. Disney has just added love nests to the Magic Kingdom with a view of Cinderella Castle.
Disney Officially Announces Frozen 5, 6, and 7
Frozen 5, 6, and 7 are in the works at Disney. These three new Frozen movies are all expected to be released by 2040. The reception to these is mixed.
President Trump Implements Tariffs on Disney World
Trump has put a tariff on Disney World. This is an effort to get them. Trump is using the tariffs as leverage to bring them back into the US.
BREAKING: Disney Employee Leaks Super Bowl Script
Breaking news, a disgruntled Disney employee leaked the Super Bowl 59 script. What happens in the Super Bowl shocks the world.
Disney World Now Charging Based on Steps Walked
The more you walk at Disney World, the more you will need to pay. This comes as they are now charing per step walked inside their parks.
Kanye West to Perform at Disney’s Magic Kingdom
In a controversial move, Kanye West will perform at Disney World Magic Kingdom as part of their Castle Concert series. Many parents have concerns.
Disney Debuts Creepy Walt Disney Animatronic
Disney debuts a creepy Walt Disney animatronic. This animatronic would walk in parades and talk and interact with guests along the way.
World’s Largest Buc-ee’s is Coming to Disney World
The world’s largest Buc-ee’s is coming to Disney World. It will also be the first-ever Buc-ee’s to have theme park rides at it.
Disney Announces They Will No Longer Be “Woke”
Disney is no longer going to be a “woke” company. They have decided to revert back to a family-friendly company and cancel controversial moves.
Disney World Releases New $1 Million FastPass
Disney has a new Fastpass that costs $1,000,000. This allows you to skip any line at anytime, acting like a VIP Tour Guide, but cheaper.