Disney Adding Urinals to All Women’s Restrooms
Soon, all women’s restrooms at Disney World will have urinals. This is an effort to create a safer and more inclusive environment, but has some people outraged
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BREAKING: Human Robots Are Taking Over Disney World
Human robots are taking over Disney World. These realistic robots can’t be distinguished from humans and are intended to make the wait times longer
Disney World Bans Stanley Cups Inside The Parks
Guns are allowed inside Disney World, but Stanley Cups aren’t. The announcement that Disney bans Stanley Cups has shaken the world
BREAKING: Disney Building Roller Coaster That Jumps Track
After filing for the patent earlier in the year, Disney is building a roller coaster that jumps the track. This will be the most dangerous roller coaster ever
Self-Driving Strollers Coming to Disney World
For only $500 per day, guests can rent self-driving strollers at Disney World. These strollers will reduce injuries and make parent’s lives easier
Disney World Adding Slot Machines to Ride Lines
You can now gamble away in Disney World lines. Disney is adding slot machines to their theme parks in the lines for their world-class rides
Ron DeSantis Sending Migrants to Disney World
Ron DeSantis is sending migrants to Disney World. He is doing this to show how much of a problem the immigrant crisis is and making Disney deal with it
Disney World Free For Black People In Black History Month
In a controversial announcement, black people can get into Disney World for free during Black History Month as an effort to provide reparations
Disney World Now Allows Open Carry of Guns in Their Parks
Guests can now open carry guns inside Disney World. This new Disney World gun policy is meant to make the parks safer, but many are skeptical
BREAKING: Disney World and Disneyland Secede From The US
In breaking news, Disney World and Disneyland have officially seceded from the United States. Both of the theme parks are now their own countries
Disney World Now Drug Testing All Guests, Leading to Bans
In order to visit Disney World, you now must pass a drug test. Anyone who fails will be banned from Disney for 30 days, maybe more if they fail twice.
BREAKING: Disney World Will Close on All Mondays
In breaking Disney news, Disney World will now be closed on all Mondays. This is to combat climate change and reduce their carbon emissions.
Virtual Tip Jars Added to All Disney World Rides
For the first time ever, Disney Cast Members can now accept tips. This comes as Disney World adds virtual tip jars to all rides, asking all guests to tip
Disney World Closing Monorails, Replacing with Walkways
The monorails at Disney World will soon close permanently. This is due to climate change. Instead, Disney will add walkways to replace the monorails
Disney World Requiring All Guests to Wear Diapers
Due to the increase of people going to the bathroom in Disney lines, Disney World is now requiring all guests to wear diapers in their parks
Disney World is Eliminating All Lines From Their Rides
In a shocking announcement, Disney World is eliminating all lines. Instead, all rides will have virtual queues, allowing you to shop and eat while you wait
Disney World Offering Buy One Get One Free Tickets
Disney World is offering buy one get one park tickets. Disney rarely has discounts, so this comes as a huge surprise for many guests.
Disney World is Actively Preparing For World War III
Disney World will be the safest place on earth if a war breaks out. They are actively preparing and training military for World War III, in case it happens.
BREAKING: Disney Removing All Characters From Their Parks
In shocking breaking news, Disney is removing all characters from their parks. This is due to the ongoing SAG-AFTRA strikes and negotiations.
Disney Eliminating Disability Access Service (DAS)
The Disability Access Service at Disney is being eliminated. This is due to the system being abused by people who don’t actually need the service