Disney World Releases A $1 Billion Park Ticket
Disney World’s new $1 billion ticket will be the rarest ticket with only 10 available. However, if you can afford it, the benefits are incredible.
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BREAKING: Disney World is Closing Permanently
Breaking news, Disney is set to close their doors permanently at the end of 2025 according to an April 1st press release. The world is mourning.
Disney World Now Accepting Food Stamps For Payment
If you qualify for food stamps, you can now use them at Disney World. Disney is accepting SNAP food stamps in an effort to be more affordable.
Sell Your Body Parts for Disney World Tickets
As part of Disney’s new body exchange program, you can sell your unwanted body parts for Disney World tickets. The value depends on the body part.
Disney World Implements Controversial White Man Tax
White men over the age of 18 years old will be charged and extra 18% on all purchases at Disney World as part of their controversial white man tax.
Disney World Announces Influencer Only Lines
Disney World announces influencer-only lines. These lines allow social media influencers to get on the rides faster and spend less time waiting.
Disney World Bans Strollers, People Rejoice
Disney World bans strollers in their parks. Many people are rejoicing over this news, however, not everyone is happy about this.
Disney World Now Charging Based on Political Affiliation
Now, the cost for Disney World tickets, hotels, food, drinks, and more varies based on what political party you are registered with.
Disney World Will Start Weighing People at Entrance
Disney World will start weighing people at the entrance. According to your weight, you will be put in a weight class and given a colored bracelet.
Beast Games Season 2 Will Take Place Inside Disney World
Mr. Beast will give away $10 million in Beast Games season 2, except this season will take place inside Disney World and will air on Disney+
Disney World Bans Pooping Inside Their Lines
Due to the massive increase in people taking dumps in Disney lines, Disney has banned pooping in their lines, which may lead to a ban.
Disney World Going Woke With Language in Parks
Disney is using new woke terminology, the main change is using “expectant birthing people” instead of “expectant mothers”.
President Trump Implements Tariffs on Disney World
Trump has put a tariff on Disney World. This is an effort to get them. Trump is using the tariffs as leverage to bring them back into the US.
Disney World Now Charging Based on Steps Walked
The more you walk at Disney World, the more you will need to pay. This comes as they are now charing per step walked inside their parks.
Disney World Releases New $1 Million FastPass
Disney has a new Fastpass that costs $1,000,000. This allows you to skip any line at anytime, acting like a VIP Tour Guide, but cheaper.
BREAKING: Disney World Testing All Guests for Flu
In breaking news, Disney World is now testing all guests for the flu. This is due to the rising cases of the flu around the US.
Multiple Inches of snow fall at Disney World
Disney World sees record snowfall in their parks. This massive snowstorm brought four inches of snow to Disney World, the most ever.
Disney World Bans Crying Inside Their Parks
In a surprising and controversial move, Disney World has banned crying inside their parks for both kids and Disney Adults.
Disney World Requiring All Kids to Wear GPS Trackers
For the safety of kids, Disney is requiring all kids 18 years and young to wear GPS monitors that look like ankle monitors.
You Can Now Bring Your Own Alcohol into Disney World
Disney World now allows carry-in alcohol. However, guests will be required to get a BYOD license in order to bring alcohol in.